This made me laugh out loud when i heard it...

a man in the bar orders a drink. he orders drink after drink. he has about 12 shots of rum...

he starts to get up and falls flat on his face.

"man I am so wasted." the man says.

so, he tries to get up again. and again he falls flat on his face.

"man! i am sooo messed up!"

the man tries a third time and the bartender sees him fall again.

"wow man," the bartender says, "you are smashed! i'm gonna have to cut you off. you should go home."

so, the man cannot even stand so he drags himself home. he drags himself about three blocks and arrives at his front door. his wife is standing in front of the door with her arms crossed tapping her foot.

"you were out drinking again,, weren't you?!"

"well..."

"don't even start! i know you were out drinking! the bartender just called and said you left your wheel chair there."