A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "Why is your shirt all bloody"

He answers in a shaky voice "My wife caught me with another woman and cut off my willie"

"No way!" replies the bartender.

The customer then says "I'll show you,If you don't believe me"

He then pulls out this long thin thing from his case and lays it on the bar.

The bartender bends down and looks closely and says "This is just a cigar".

The customer looks confused and says "I have it here somewhere" and proceeds to fumble through his other pockets and comes up with another long thin thing and placing it on the bar, and says " See that".

The bartender again inspects it closely and says "Are you kidding me? that's just another cigar."

Now the customer staggers backward and steadies himself , leaning on the bar and with awareness in his shaky voice says "Son of a *****, I must have smoked it!"